Part 38: Carbondale

I woke up around 10am and walked a little over a mile to Enterprise Rent-A-Car. I got a Ford Fusion and drove south to do some exploring. I went to Metropolis, Illinois first. I stopped into Harrah's Casino to try to make a quick buck on the video poker. After about ten minutes, I figured the payout odds on the video poker machines were not as favorable as my beloved Casino Queen in East St. Louis. I left in search of lunch. I went to the Hardee's Red Burrito and had tacos. Afterwards, I went to the infamous Superman statue to take some photos. Metropolis is the fictional city where the Superman comics take place. Next, I went to Fort Massac State Park to get some exercise as I looked at the reconstruction of the over two hundred year old fort and the Ohio River in flood stage. It started raining, so I jumped back in the car and headed across the river into Kentucky to do more exploring.

I couldn't find much to do or see in Paducah as I drove around in the rain. I decided to go to Club Incognito for an afternoon rain delay, but found the strip club closed. According to Google it was supposed to be open at noon, but apparently the hours had changed. It would not be open until the evening. I hopped on US 60 and drove to Wickliffe. I crossed the Ohio River near its confluence with the Mississippi River and headed into the mostly abandoned town of Cairo, Illinois. Any land not protected by levees was flooded. The water was just a foot or so from swallowing the highway into Cairo. I drove around Cairo photographing the abandoned buildings and vacant main street. It was already late in the afternoon, so I headed north back to Carbondale. I took a shower and got ready for dinner.

I went to a restaurant called Italian Village. I ordered a large pizza and a Coca Cola. I watched some horse races on my smartphone while waiting for my food. It was a decent dinner.

Next, I headed north on US 51 toward De Soto. I stopped at Club Coyote. At 8:45pm, it was dead. The club is a pole barn with a bar and stage in the middle. I really did not find any of the dancers attractive. Every dancer showed baby damage. The best looking female in the club was the blonde, petite shot girl. At least Budweisers were only $3. I could get reentry with the wristband they gave me at the door, so I decided to head up the highway and possibly double back later to see if things got any better.

Next, drove north of De Soto to JB's Showplace. The long building was split into two separate sides. The right side was a regular sports bar for locals, and the left side was a small strip club. Budweisers were a very affordable $2.50. The dancer line-up was slightly better at JB's. A brown-eyed brunette named Candy was just my type. I wanted her. I tipped her generously at the stage. She jumped off the stage and gave me a short lap dance. I wanted to spend my entire wallet on her, but she spent all of her time off stage talking to a couple local farmers who she seemed to know, so that did not happen. A black dancer named Sky was a good second choice, but she hid out in the locker room when she was not on stage. The club did not obey the Smoke-Free Illinois law. Empty cans of Bud Light with the tabs ripped off were all along the bar as makeshift ashtrays. Eventually, the secondhand smoke and frustration from not being able to get lap dances had me departing.

I stopped back at Club Coyote while heading south. There was a college crowd around midnight and more of a party atmosphere, but the subpar dancers had me back in the rental car after slamming another Budweiser. I drove back to Carbondale buzzed. I needed something to sop up the alcohol in my stomach. I made a post-midnight visit to Jimmy John's for a Big John with extra onions. I then turned in for the night at Home2 Suites.

The Superman statue in Metropolis, Illinois.